Okay so to say the least, it has been a very crazy past couple of weeks.
And since this blog is dedicated to honesty, I will keep that now (even though I don't want to).
But you all deserve to know what's been going on, and where I'm at currently.
And I tell you knowing that judgement may very well be coming my way.
Well I am still at the sober living in Northridge that I've been at this whole time.
I just got back yesterday from a 3-day run, and not even two weeks ago, I relapsed after having 37 days under my belt. I have no reason, no excuse for what happened other than to say that I was quite "disconnected" and I didn't see the purpose in what I've been doing (AA, 12-step program stuff) or what the purpose in staying sober even is. I don't want to go into detail about what has happened while I've been out, but I will just let you know that lately it's been a struggle of where I see my life headed. I'd be lying to you if I said that sometimes I didn't feel like I'm doomed to this junkie life, and that I am worth no more than being found in a gutter with a needle in my arm... That's just the honest to God truth.
But I am back. Starting over, yet again. One day at a time.
Today, I'm dope-sick, but I'm safe. We'll see where this adventure of sobriety takes me.
I've got little fight left in me, but it's been enough to bring me back. So I'm here.
And taking life, once more, one day at a time. Sometimes, that's all we can do.
It's the end of the month and I know that due to my above update, I could lose many supporters, although I am praying that doesn't happen... There are necessities I need this month. (I am on restriction again, so I can't look for work right now...)
The first and foremost necessity is RENT MONEY. Rent here is $620 and that includes a monthly house fee, for supplies (i.e. laundry soap, dish soap, etc.).
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to stay at this sober living if I don't somehow come up with rent money, which means YOU who are reading this... I desperately NEED your help. ANY and ALL financial help would be SOOO appreciated. Please email me if you can help in ANY way.
youaregreaterthan@gmail.com
There are other necessities, but rent is first. Please help. You'd be helping save just one life.
Thank you for your support. I am eternally grateful.
There is no judgement here pal. I don't have rent money but maybe if some of us can give a little bit we can all come up with it. i can go with heather to the 99 cent store and get all the extra stuff you need though ok?
ReplyDeleteAny and all financial help, really does help. Thank youuu. Please pass this along.
ReplyDeleteCamille-you are worth infinitely more than being found dead in a gutter with a needle in your arm. You are worth Jesus Christ sacrificiasng his life so that you could live-live the life of a reformed sinner, a warrior saint, a life-giver to those you find dying in a gutter with a needle in their arms, because you deeply and intimately know that their lives are just as precious and worth saving as yours. You have a mission. keep fighting for it. It may take a while to get there. Soak in Christ's live and strength
ReplyDeleteI pray protection over you in Jesus' name from the lies of the enemy. Keep fighting. "And my God will provide all your needs in Christ Jesus."