Who could ask for more?

I got breakfast with some friends today (Daniel & Ryan) and the three of us just sat for hours, ate the biggest meal and had the sweetest conversation. I love those guys so much and am seriously so grateful for their friendships, even when I don't deserve it.. especially when I don't deserve it, they are just constantly there for me, they go out of their way so much for me, and they are so genuine and real.

I'm in the process of moving on from shitty, insensitive friends to being surrounded by people who care about and love me, for exactly who I am, including all the baggage that I bring to the table.

I'd drop everything and do anything for my friends.

Why is it not reciprocated? Especially when I could really just use a friend...

Sleepless.

I can't sleep.

It feels like I just can never catch a good night's rest these days.

Too many thoughts on my mind, too many things to get done tomorrow, too many things being put off, put off, put off...

It's too hot in here, the window isn't open enough.

It's too quiet outside, it's too quiet in the house, the walls are creaking too much, my breathing is too loud.

Where's the cat? Why is my room such a mess?

Maybe I should clean it up a bit, maybe I should start packing up my stuff...

Maybe I should write in my journal, maybe I should try and sleep.

I have to wake up in 5 hours anyways. Maybe I'll just put all this off until tomorrow...

And the cycle repeats itself. Night after night after night.

I decided on a few things tonight:

1. I'm going to buy film for one of my 35mm cameras & start documenting anything and everything. Summer 2011. I want these photos to completely fill up a journal.

2. I am taking a mini vacation (hopefully) in June. I'm going to visit family and some old friends that I haven't seen in awhile. I'll be going to: The Inland Empire, Long Beach and maybe a few other places.

3. And right now, I'm going to drink a black currant tea latte and watch The Squid and The Whale.

Starting off summer right.

A few months ago, I went for a beach day in Ventura, CA with some really great friends (Erika & Ryan).

It was a day of thrift store shopping, walking on the beach and down the pier, and it was such a day that I was really grateful for the wonderful company, a day where I had friends surrounding me when I really needed them.

And not to mention, these are some pretty sweet photos that came from the day.

I'm excited for summer 2011 and I'm grateful for the amazing friends that are by my side.

It's all becoming unfairly realistic.